The Ballad Of Otis Campbell

In the quaint little town of Mayberry
In the hills of Caroline
A legend lives life so free and merry
Drinkin’ whiskey and mountain moonshine

To see him sober you wouldn’t look twice
His hair is combed and his suit looks nice
Just another ordinary Mayberry man
Until he gets that whiskey in his hand

Otis Campbell’s drunk again!

The weekends here and Otis is bombed
He’s passed out on the courthouse lawn
The sheriff’s deputy is having a fit
He didn’t choose a police career for this shit

There lays Otis, making a scene
His breath in fumes like gasoline
Trousers falling below his ass
Singing to crickets in the grass

Otis Campbell’s really gassed!

He’s been to the jail so many times
The sheriff made him his own key
Stumbling in on a Friday night
As wasted as any man can be

Snoring all his buzz away
In the comfort of his cell
He’ll get breakfast and coffee the next day
The sheriff treats his prisoners well.

Otis Campbell’s head is swelled!

The townsfolk love him, he’s dear to their hearts
They laugh at his belching and scoff at his farts
The League Of Christian Women see Otis’s sins
They want Otis Campbell to make amends

Otis makes up his own holidays
To celebrate with drink and song
Otis will never change his ways
No matter how silly, he can’t go wrong

He might be a boozer, but he isn’t a loser
He’s as free as any man can be
A kindhearted guy with a sense of humor
An outstanding character of Mayberry

Otis Campbell’s soul is merry!

Otis, Otis where you been?
I see you’ve gone, got drunk again
There’s moonshine dripping from the hills
You know all the bootleggers and their stills

Otis Campbell, you are a great man
We’ll celebrate you whenever we can
Your legend lives as your spirit goes by
To that liquor store up in the sky